Why?

Why indeed. What’s behind our consumer behavior – be it consuming stuff or websites or fads or cookies or the latest hot speaker (oops, would that be me?)?

We say: it was my color, I heard such good things about him/it/them, I was hungry/bored/curious, it was for my PhD research/husband/recipe. Yes… but… let’s look deeper. Could it be that we “buy” it because of very human yet rarely spoken about emotions. Like envy, gluttony or regret. She had one and I wanted one too. I can have whatever I want and you can’t stop me. How can I fix the past?

While these are hard to admit, they are also keys to happiness… by turning them on their heads, looking for the possibilities for pleasure within the pain. Ugh. Masochism? Nope, read on.Soon a course on happiness will be a VeRA (Vicki Robin&Associates) Teleclass School offering. Amazing research and ancient wisdom and our collective effort to turn away from ecological ruin all point to happiness as a new bottom line.

Using myself as a happiness guinea pig I’ve been testing theories in the lab of my own life.

One key I teach to the happiness of “enough” is the Presence Principle. It says in effect:  “No matter what you do, if you aren’t aware of it, it can’t make you happy.” You have to experience it – the pleasure of food, the pleasure of a visit with a friend, the pleasure the new car. The more you experience the pleasure of having, doing or being, the more satisfied you will be. You won’t race past your “enough point” -the moment of optimal fulfillment when more isn’t better, it’s burden. Debt comes from indulgence that doesn’t satisfy, because it actually doesn’t register on the pleasure meter.

Observing how I feed myself, for example, I notice three moments of pleasure:

Preparing, eating and fullness.

Preparing the food is a small interval of art for me. Chopping, frying, seasoning, catching the dish at the peak moment of doneness, arranging it on a plate to serve and eat. Smells, adjusting recipes, choosing the angle of my knife. If I never ate the food, I’d still have that pleasure – if I paid attention and didn’t hurry the process as if it were slopping the pigs.

Then I’m the eater. I sit and savor the flavors, the textures, the exquisite moments when intense hunger meets the first mouthfuls and my body lights up with satisfaction.

After eating, I feel pleasantly full. I have energy. The meal sustains me for hours. And the memory of the meal, when I remember to remember, gives me a feeling of being loved (someone cooked for me!), of having a good life.

Okay, enough about me and eating. The point is:

Awareness of your envy can become a reminder to give yourself what you really want, a reminder that you’re alive, you want things because humans want things, and you can be kind to yourself by asking yourself, “Hey, honey, what kind of happy experience would you like?

Awareness of your gluttony can become a reminder to savor what you are consuming. Every bit and bite of it.

Awareness of your regrets can become a reminder to bring true pleasure to the next chocolate bar, the next date, the next new gadget.

All of this comes from turning hurry into pleasure. You can practice pleasure – anticipating, savoring, remembering – and actually make yourself happier. Registering pleasure can lead to fewer regrets.

What do you do for pure pleasure? What do you take pleasure in? Do you even think pleasure is a worthy focus for life?

I am simply grateful to be alive. Six years ago I had a 45% chance of even being here, according to the cancer docs.

I am also grateful that the artist and comedienne in me is having a go at running my life, and the entrepreneur is getting the freedom to start and run a business (the VeRA, Vicki Robin and Associates Teleclass School), even as the activist keeps on keeping on (now with the Transition Movement www.transitionus.org).

So lift a glass with me and toast all of us shedding old skins … and putting on day-glo glitter.

The tote bag is printed with all the spines of all 75 books. Seeing Your Money or Your Life there among truly the literary stars almost got me crying.Life didn’t become more special than it was when i got the bag – quite different from how we lived when we wrote the book but now/still at the peak of fulfillment!  It just reminded me of the honor it is to be associated with this book and work. How hard we worked to write and publicize it. How hard people in Financial Integrity Associates worked to create a speakers’ bureau and support services. And most of all, how all of you used the program to change your lives in large and small ways.

Now when it looks to me like the economic challenges are in no way over I’m intending to do more Your Money or Your Life education to help the next raft of people increase both their security AND creativity so we all can weather the challenges ahead.

So this reinforcement comes just at the right time.

Please join me in this celebration of our stunning success.

U.S. News & World Reports interviewed me recently about my latest book, The New Good Life: Living Better Than Ever in an Age of Less.  They have so far run two short pieces, one on intergenerational childcare and one on recovering from financial loss.

I am sharing here the full interview, not all of which has been used by the magazine so far.  As well, my latest blog on the Huffington Post, titled, What Kind of Creature Are We?, is now live.
Yours in the creation of thriving, just and sustainable ways of life for all,

John Robbins

US News & World Report Interview with John Robbins

U.S. News and World Report:
If someone is currently living the “typical” American life with lots of waste, how can they begin to think about making a change?

John Robbins:

By asking what really makes your life worth living, what really adds to the richness and quality of your life.  The new good life isn’t about deprivation.  It’s about achieving an overflowing life, a generous life, an exciting life, a joyful life, while spending less.  The point isn’t to become a miser (the word “miser” comes from the same root as the word “miserable”).  The goal is to live better for less.  The new good life means having less stress in your life and more true wealth.

U.S. News and World Report:
If someone has their savings wiped out (as you did), how do you recommend they begin to rebuild on a mental/psychological level? What about on a financial level?

John Robbins:

You have to cope, not mope.  You’ve got to turn the vulnerability you feel into a strength.  And that means throwing shame and guilt out the window.  You may feel weak or helpless for a time, but remember those are just feelings, and no feelings are final.  They will pass if you take effective action.  When you eliminate wasteful spending in every area of your life, you can focus your spending and your attention on what truly adds value to your life.  The way you spend money and the way you spend your time can both become more intelligent and more productive.

U.S. News and World Report:
You describe how multi-generational housing works well for your family.  Can this concept make people happier/live richer lives? It seems that it could also help them waste less space / live with less / pay less for child care?

John Robbins:

Living in a multi-generational household can work if there’s an alignment of values, and if you respect the differences between you.  It’s actually how many people have traditionally lived.  I live with my wife, Deo (we’ve been married 44 years), our 36-year-old son, Ocean, his wife of 16 years, Michele, and their twin 9-year-old sons, River and Bodhi.  Deo and I don’t think of Michele as our daughter-in-law, but as our daughter-in-love.

I’m sure that raising twins is a handful and a half in the first place, but River and Bodhi were born two and a half months premature and have had many special needs.  We’ve all heard the expression that it takes a village to raise a child.  In this kind of situation, I sometimes think we need two villages.

But with four “parents” involved, we seek to provide the little guys with as much undivided attention and unconditional love as we can.  Deo and I both love playing with the twins, and Deo, in particular, puts in a terrific number of hours, for which Michele and Ocean are tremendously grateful.

One day, Michele was reflecting on how thankful she felt to Deo and me, and how glad she is that we are here.  Thinking about the huge number of hours that Deo devotes to the twins, Michele told her, “I can’t believe how much money you’re saving us in child care.”

Deo shot me a quick smile that spoke volumes about how she didn’t want Michele to feel indebted, and how greatly she enjoys taking care of the little fellows.  Then she turned to Michele and said, “That’s one way to look at it.  But do you have any idea how much it would cost if we had to go out and rent grandchildren?”

U.S. News and World Report:

Why do people often think they need or want to live in a bigger house than they do?

John Robbins:

Social status is important to us human beings.  There are healthy ways of attaining it, and there are not-so-healthy ways.  One of the defining features of the old good life was that many of us sought to enhance our social standing and gain feelings of self-worth by consuming more lavishly and conspicuously than others.  We made excesss into a symbol of success.  It is our homes, more than any other category of expense, where we so often fell prey to the unexamined assumption that bigger is better.  My feeling is that wherever you live is your temple — if you treat it like one.

U.S. News and World Report:
Traditionally people have demonstrated their status by buying big houses, nice cars, etc.  What can replace that? How can people demonstrate their status in a “good life” way? Or do we need to let go of the concept of status?

John Robbins:

Status will always be important to people, but we need to outgrow defining it only in material terms.  Currently, when we say someone is a “success,” what do we usually mean?  Do we mean that she is an emotionally balanced, loving human being? Do we mean that he is creative and artistic and adds beauty to the world? Not usually.  Instead we reserve the word “success” for people who have made a lot of money.

This is how we impoverish ourselves.  This is why we need a new vision of the good life.

Defining success only in monetary terms has created a culture of greed that has separated us from each other and become a threat to the global environment.  We need to acknowledge that “quality of life” and “standard of living” are not the same thing, and we need to fully grasp which of the two is more important.  Can you imagine how different it would feel to live in a world where we recognized and honored the many courageous people who work day-in and day-out, not just to make the biggest buck, but to make the world a better place?

U.S. News and World Report:
Simply avoiding use of a car seems to be one of your strong suggestions, how can people make that possible? By choosing to live in a walkable area?

John Robbins:

Studies show that 98% of Americans consistently underestimate the true cost of owning a car.  And as petroleum products become more expensive, those costs are only going to increase.  Anything you can do to lessen your reliance on driving will save you money and make your life less oil-dependent.  Steps to accomplish this include car-pooling, car-sharing, riding a bicycle or an electric bike, living in a walkable neighborhood, working from home, living close to good public transportation, etc.  When you drive less, you save money and get more exercise.  You restore vital connections with people, nature and community.  And you participate in something much bigger.  You help reduce our dependence on imported oil, cut down on air pollution, and slow global warming.  Besides, life is too short for traffic.

U.S. News and World Report:
Any other key piece of advice you would like to highlight?

John Robbins:

We’ve all seen bumper stickers that say “He who dies with the most toys wins.” That’s the old game; that’s the old good life.  In the new good life, the point isn’t to have the most toys, but the most joys.

This isn’t about denying your pleasures.  It’s about plugging the money leaks that you may have been only dimly aware of, but which have been draining you.  Some of us buy rich and expensive foods and then pay for costly health care to deal with the problems that come from overeating.  Some of us buy things we don’t need and then pay for larger residences or storage space to house the things we have accumulated.

The New Good Life is about the joy of living with a purpose larger than consumption.  It’s about living less from image and more from creativity.  It’s about expanding the love and laughter in your home rather than increasing the square footage of your home.

I’ve offset my carbon footprint for the year by donating to the Trillium land purchase on Whidbey Island – and you can too.

Here’s the skinny. Contemplating the cost to the earth of my long flights to Brazil I hit on a great idea. Rather than offset the carbon by planting new trees elsewhere, why not donate the $480 cost of 24 tons of carbon I spew into the atmosphere annually to Whidbey Camano Land Trust to keep the trees on the Trillium land standing. This property is one square mile North of Freeland. Whidbey Camano Land Trust has an option to buy it if they raise $4,200,000 ($4.2 million) by September 10. We’ve raised $2.4 leaving $1.8 million still to go. Offset your flying and driving and heating and cooling and meat meals by following the steps below.

Click here to find out what your annual carbon footprint is: http://www.nature.org/initiatives/climatechange/calculator/. It takes at most 5 minutes.

They will calculate your carbon footprint for you and give you the tonnage, cost per ton and total cost. Mine was $480. Note: If I’d done this in 2007, the year when I did an airplane fast) my footprint would be 11. With Brazil and various conferences it is more than double. And if I LIVED outside the big cities Brazil it could be less than half.(5). Our lifestyle costs a lot, and we CAN mitigate it by offsetting our carbon footprint cost to WCLT for the Trillium land purchase. Otherwise, it goes on the auction block and will be developed.

Now take the total $$$, and click here to donate to Whidbey Camano Land Trust. http://savetheforestnow.org/donate/

This IS a donation – and isn’t. In addition to our annual giving we should all be doing our annual offsetting. Two birds with one stone.

If you need more incentive to do it now, my Medicare Birthday is in ten days. Give me a gift and do these steps.  I want to multiply my donation to the power of 10. Or 20. Or heck, 100.

love
Vicki

I’m very interested in two things:

1. How ARE you adapting, adjusting, rethinking, retooling, reschooling, etc.? And to what? Foreclosure? Job loss? Moving to follow the money? Please post comments below so we all can learn from your stories, no matter where you are in the process.

2. If you’ve heeded Your Money or Your Life in some way, has it made a difference in these hard times?  I has for me…I do have enough income, though one income stream disappeared and I needed to replace it (which i have two times over). Thank you FI program, not only for the sacred nest egg but for FI thinking that allows me to think outside the box and find income where others would find none. I’m also a super-saver and no matter how much income I have, I am always under that in terms of spending. It’s become so natural to me that it’s like surfing. I feel under my feet where the slop is in my system and simply postpone purchases or substitute pleasures and somehow stay on the board.  This, too, is FI habits, deeply ingrained over 30+ years of practice. Third, I’ve invested in community these last five years which provides entertainment, shared resources and a deep sense of security. I highly recommend such an investment program – keeping an eye out for how you can invest life energy in other people and establish networks of mutuality.

In the years between the second edition of Your Money or Your Life (1998) and the third which was a rewrite (2008), a lot happened in my life.  I spent half a decade taking more stabs at large scale social change: Conversation Cafes, Turning Tide Coalition, Simplicity Forum and Let’s Talk America — and I undertook a long research project and as yet unpublished book on Freedom, since so much destruction happens in the name of this core American ideal. My big finding was that limits – which Americans tend to abhor – are the key to freedom. To be the author of the limits in our lives – by accepting or creating them – expands us.  Enoughness – knowing when to stop one pleasure to make space for the another – is a training in an exquisite awareness of  maximal happiness. Another way to say that limits free. And happiness is the key to making limits work for you. If you are not aware that you are happy, if you don’t know what makes you happy, if you can’t pick an attitude or activity that will turn the brightness knob up, you can never know when you have enough and no matter how much you get, it ultimately tends to dull your satisfaction with life.

This peek into Daniel Gilbert’s research and conclusions wraps these all together.

I’m planning my new tele-course on Happiness for the Fall and will be blogging all summer about aspects of the whole teaching.

Hope you enjoyed this one.

http://newhavenindependent.org/index.php/archives/entry/happiness_blog_part_2/id_26797

Karma Tshiteem is the head of the Gross National Happiness Commission in Bhutan, charged with tracking the happiness of the Bhutan people and making policy that will maintain or increase happiness. He’s a self proclaimed bureaucrat. He’s not all smiles. He doesn’t crack jokes. He measures 9 dimensions of happiness in order to manage the carrots and sticks that will keep Bhutan on track.

They do not believe the government is responsible for the happiness of the people. That’s an inside job. They do believe government can measure “subjective well-being” (how happy people report being in all realms of life) and provide incentives through policies and planning. Data from surveys draws government attention to what need to be addressed.

For example, one domain of happiness is cultural. For Bhutan, it’s important that people participate in traditional Festivals as a way to learn about Bhutanese identity and form solid cultural bonds. Through measuring (survey) they found that attendance at Festivals was down. They then mandated that wherever a Festival is happening, people will be given 3 days off since Festivals are usually 4 days. In a year they will measure again to see if this new policy works.

GNH measurements not only corrects but directs. It is used as a planning tool. Next post is about that. And then on to other dimensions of happiness – this precious sweetness of life, elusive, intermittent… and not at all what we think.